Mild Thoughts

I love you

But only when it’s convenient…

Well.. not always

You have to believe me

Sometimes I really do try

Honest

I swear

Just today for example

I worked out

Pumped the iron

Hit the gym

Sculpted this magnificent human form

Then I ate a hella good meal

All kinds of veggies

Lean protein

A god damn artistry of health

And that was all for you

I put YOU first

See!

Yeah yeah, I know..

It’s almost midnight…

I promised I’d go to bed two hours ago

But you know what happens…

Friends

Family

The dog

I get horny

Hungry

Sad…

When the tides of sleep come in

So do the boats

I don’t like facing them..

The demons that float just offshore

So I burn the night oil

One little exception at a time

A minute

Then five

Then ten

Then we find ourself here again

A quarter to moon

Too far and too late

Water up to our ankles

I can do the math on my hands now

On how little sleep you will get

On how many hours left until your ire

On how much the next day will drag…

All because I couldn’t say no

Wouldn’t say no

Didn’t want to say no

And just..

Sleep.

*****

Little exceptions here and there

Little exceptions like grains of sand

I willfully let you dance thru my fingers

Naive to the price paid in hand

I’m sorry my friend

I really am

My brain can’t do math

when caught in their trance

I swear it won’t happen again…